Count The Ways
by T a C o C a T
Summary: Sometimes all he needed was a little reassurance. SasuSaku. Oneshot. Smut.
**Count The Ways**

* * *

 _ _How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.__

 _ _I love thee to the depth and breadth and height__

 _ _My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight__

 _ _For the ends of being and ideal grace.__

 _ _I love thee to the level of every day's__

 _ _Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.__

 _ _I love thee freely, as men strive for right.__

 _ _I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.__

 _ _I love thee with the passion put to use__

 _ _In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.__

 _ _I love thee with a love I seemed to lose__

 _ _With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,__

 _ _Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,__

 _ _I shall but love thee better after death.__

- **Emily Barrett Browning**

* * *

He didn't always pick Sakura up directly from work, but she'd been so busy lately that Sasuke had decided to meet her outside the hospital after her shift was done in the hope that he could squeeze in some time with her before she came home and crashed, exhausted, and slept for a handful of hours before rolling out of bed to go to her children's clinic instead. He understood that she was doing important work, but even he got a little lonely sometimes and he missed her. Not that he would ever confess to such a thing aloud, naturally.

As he waited, leaning aloofly against a wall just outside the front entrance to the hospital, he overheard a conversation between two male medic-nins as they exited the building:

"Sakura-san is one of the most beautiful women in the village. It's a pity that she's taken. And that chakra control—out of this world. I bet she's unreal in bed."

As a matter of fact she was, although Sasuke didn't appreciate other men discussing her so. It was fine for them to look on in envy and despair so long as they did not get it in their heads to _touch._ He was often away from the village, and because he was unable to be at her side constantly to frighten away overly-ambitious admirers, her popularity with the opposite sex made him nervous. Frowning, Sasuke continued to listen from his hiding place in the shadows of the overhanging roof of the hospital.

"I know. I'd love to see if she's as good with her hands in … other departments as she is as a healer. You know, she's only with that Uchiha because he's a bit good looking. I don't know what else she could possibly see in a traitor like him. He only got off with a slap on the wrist because he's the Sixth Hokage's former student."

As they rounded the corner they saw him and the two young men went white as a sheet in perfect unison. Sasuke gave them a look which made it oh-too-clear that he was genuinely considering murdering them both where they stood, and the began walking away very quickly, wisely, before he could make up his mind to do it.

"Oh god," one hissed to the other just before they disappeared from his line of sight. "Do you think he heard us?"

Perhaps the only reason that he had not spoken up, silencing with them witty retort about Sakura's prowess as a lover to really rub salt in their wounds—or better yet bashed their skulls together—was because their words had unexpectedly troubled him. He was used to receiving scorn from many shinobi, who still did not trust him entirely after the crimes he had committed, but he rarely let it get under his skin. No, they had managed to touch on a particular nerve: it was well and dandy for them hate him for what he'd done, but bringing Sakura into the equation changed things. In truth, he had no answer to the most devastating question they had posed: he didn't know what she saw in him, either.

The thought had never really occurred to him before, but now he wondered: was she really only interested in him because of the way he looked? He had never pegged Sakura as _shallow_ of all things, but no other plausible explanation came immediately to his mind. She certainly didn't love him (so she claimed) because of his sunny disposition and overwhelming charm. She definitely did not want to be with him because of his warm treatment of her during his initial period of absence from Konoha, including the time he had nearly killed her in a rage-induced haze; there was no single moment in his life of which he was more deeply ashamed. For years he'd shown her little else but cruelty and disdain, and she took it all with her chin up and her arms out, waiting for him to come around, loving him despite it all.

And … had she done those things only because he was considered aesthetically appealing by the present standards of physical attractiveness? He could think of no other redeeming quality that he possessed, except perhaps for his strength and skill, but she seemed even less likely to be attracted to someone based solely on their power. She could have no reason for wanting to associate herself with the cursed name of a nearly-extinct Clan; his name granted him no money or status.

His thoughts were interrupted by her sudden appearance. She exited the front doors of the hospital, immediately identifiable by her unique, brightly coloured hair—and her chakra which he had been able to sense growing nearer, but hadn't paid much mind to until she was nearly immediately before him. She looked tired as could be expected of someone who had just finished working a ten hour shift, but she brightened upon catching sight of him; the smile that curled her lips made his heart flutter wildly in his chest.

She was so beautiful. So smart, so talented, so kind to everyone.

What on earth was she doing with someone like him?

"Sasuke-kun!" she greeted him happily, jogging the last few steps to meet him and tucking a stray strand of rose hair behind her ear. Her cheeks were rosy and eyes were bright as she beamed up at him with all her perplexing adoration. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to pick you up." he grunted, giving her one last quick glance before looking away and wordlessly extending his hand. Normally he didn't like to display affection in public, but for obvious reasons he was feeling a little touchy and wanted nothing more than for her to be seen around town with him, so people would be reminded that she was _his …_ even if he'd done absolutely nothing to deserve her.

She took his hand, seeming surprised but pleased by the gesture. "Y-you didn't have to go out of your way." she said, lacing her fingers through his; he always marvelled at how they fit there so perfectly, so naturally. "But thank you."

He was mostly silent as they walked back to her apartment (where he stayed more often than not) as she shared with him the highlights and low-lights of her day; she'd restored the use of a child's legs who who had been told that he would never walk again, but it had been busy in the hospital and they were understaffed and some old, crotchety man had yelled at her because he'd waited four hours to be seen by someone. He'd warmed up to her by the end however, she concluded.

 _Of course he had_ , Sasuke thought. Sakura could melt even the coldest, most frozen and inaccessible of hearts.

She unlocked her apartment and he followed her inside. Once they were alone inside she slipped off her shoes, turned to face him, and inched closer; her eyes flicked up to his, her gaze explicitly amorous, and she leaned in for a kiss.

Trying to hide his frown he remained in place, not pulling away as she went up on her tippy toes and pressed her lips to his but giving her very little in the way of response. The hand which usually itched to touch her remained still at his side. He was troubled.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-kun?" she asked him, sensing his uneasy mood. "Are you feeling okay?"

He didn't answer her, and instead after a pause asked her another question: "What are you doing?"

"O-oh." she blushed and fidgeted; so precious, so sweet. "I thought we could make love. I've been so busy and stressed, and it's been a while … I haven't been meaning to neglect you."

 _Of course_ she wanted sex—this was doing nothing to put his fears at bay. He sighed, running a hand trough his thick, dark strands of hair. Was _this_ really the only foundation of their relationship? He was well aware that they had always been incredibly physical ever since the first time they'd been intimate. It had become an extremely important and frequent part of their interactions. He loved the feel of her body underneath him, her hands in his hair and her moans in his ear. He wasn't very good at communicating, but when they had sex he always felt like they were speaking a language known only to the two of them, and in those private, intimate moments they understood each other completely. Now he wasn't so sure.

"No." he said. "I mean, what are _we_ doing?"

Sakura merely blinked her big, green eyes at him, clearly not catching his drift. "Um … getting it on? Maybe? I don't think I've ever seen you hesitate so long when sex is on the table, Sasuke-kun. Are you angry at me because I haven't been making time for you? I'm really sorry. I'll make it up, I promise. Right now. Come here."

She approached him once more, one hand winding around his neck while her other dipped low, caressing his member through the fabric of his pants. Despite himself he hardened instantly under her touch and bit back a groan. Arousal lifted its head, threatening to banish all coherent thought from his mind. His penis apparently did not care if they were to be used as her squeeze-toy, the traitor. He caught her wrist and tugged her hand away.

"No." he said forcefully. She blinked at him again, looking completely dumbfounded at his continued refusal.

"…N…o…?" she repeated in her state of bewilderment. "You don't want to?" Her gaze dropped to the noticeable bulge in his pants, wordlessly pointing out the contradiction.

He was growing increasingly frustrated and flustered. He didn't know how to explain it to her, but he was genuinely bothered by the thought that the only reason that she stayed with him—that she had sought him out all along—was because of his goddamn face. And body, he supposed. Damn his genetics; it would have been _so much easier_ to reassure himself that there really was something about him worth loving if he were ugly. And that was just the problem: he didn't thing there was anything about him worth loving, least of all by her.

"That's … not it, exactly." he managed to answer finally. She looked up at him expectantly, clearly prompting for further explanation, but he didn't say anything else.

"Well then, come here." she said with just a hint of impatience in her tone. She reached for his crotch again and he dodged her hand, shaking his head. She looked a little offended. " _Sasuke._ What is the matter? Do I smell bad?"

"You only want me for my body." the words escaped him before he could stop them.

She blinked at him a third time; he might have been mistaken, but he thought he saw the lower lid of her eye twitch. Her mouth hung open as she gaped for a long moment, and he stared at her stubbornly, not caring how perfectly absurd he sounded, as he waited for her to admit it.

"Sasuke." she began carefully. "Is that really what you think? You know how I love you. I've always loved you."

His frown deepened and he dropped his eyes. "So you say. But I don't see why."

She opened her mouth and shut it again. He wondered if he shouldn't have said anything at all—if he should have just given her what she wanted, taken what _he_ wanted, and been grateful that she offered him this much. But he hated the idea that he was some sort of … trophy lover, that she was denying herself the chance at a real connection just because he was, as those men had said, "a bit good looking." He hated the idea that he would always want something more and she would be forever out of his reach; she might want a physical affair with a good-looking man, but no one married just for looks. She might want sex because he was convenient and attractive, but what if she found someone who treated her the way she deserved? Who shone as brightly as she did? Who had things in common with her, who could carry on a meaningful conversation, who hadn't dirtied their hands or tried to kill her or—

" _Sasuke_. Look at me."

He did as he was told, his eyes finding hers. She looked fiercely serious—was she angry with him?

"You don't need a reason to be in love with someone. You don't." she told him, her tone clear and firm and leaving little room for argument. Kakashi had said the same words, once, and although he'd taken them at face value then, he questioned now. "But I have mine all the same."

She closed the distance between them, her hands resting on his chest, fingers working slowly to undo the buttons of his shirt. This time he didn't stop her. "I love … that you can be unbearably arrogant one moment, and completely insecure the next. I love that you call Naruto your best friend, even though you're polar opposites in every way. I love how you care about everyone on our team. I love how you loved your family; how you loved your brother. I love how you are determined to protect the village in your own way. I love how after everything that happened to you—every terrible, unspeakable thing that was done to you that would _break_ the very best of us—you overcame it and found a way to turn towards the light. I love that you get that crinkle—that one right there—in between your brow when something is worrying you. I love how smart you are. I love how hard-working you are. I love how you get competitive about silly little things."

Sasuke listened in a stunned silence as she went on, unprotesting as she continued undressing him. His shirt slid to the floor and she pressed a kiss to his collarbone. He took in a quick, sharp inhale. Gods, what was she doing to him? How could she she have this power over him? "I love how you act so stern and unaffected all the time, when sometimes I think that you're secretly quite ridiculous. I love that you're so quiet, even though you're the most thoughtful person I know. I love the way you can make me feel like a queen with nothing but a single word or a glance. I love that you are _kind._ I love that you get emotion sometimes when we're having sex, and try to hide it by shoving your face in my hair."

She began removing her own standard hospital clothes then, adding them to the growing pile of garments on the floor. He finally broke eye contact as she unhooked her bra, his gaze dipping to admire her pale, pert breasts. "I love how you take such good care of your body and that you are the most hygienic and well-groomed man I've ever encountered. I love how you clean and maintain all your weapons meticulously. I love that your favourite foods are plain and healthy. I love the way you look when you yawn, or when you're sleeping."

He hadn't thought about those things as things that she would notice or care about. He hadn't believed she could be capable of noticing so much, of feeling so much or so deeply but it was immensely humbling. Strangely, he wanted to cry. Or kiss her.

"Come." she insisted once more, gently but firmly, and began leading him by the hand towards the bedroom. "Make love to me, Sasuke, and I'll remind you how very, very adored you are. Because don't get me wrong: the list of reasons why I love you is endless…"

She smiled; his heart felt close to bursting. "But I do want your body. I won't pretend that you're not the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on."

He blushed a furious shade of red and made a face. "Don't call me beautiful." he said. "It's weird."

Sakura giggled at him, shutting the bedroom door behind them and steering him towards the bed. He followed along, unresisting, feeling himself pulled in to her tide and losing all will to fight the flow. Her arms went around his neck and she tugged him down onto the bed so that he was on top of her. She went for his pants next, pushing them down his hips along with his boxers. His erection met the cool air and he shivered lightly.

"But you are beautiful." she insisted, her fingers curling around the girth of him and making him gasp. Every touch was like ecstasy—he'd never wanted anything so badly as he wanted her. " _So beautiful._ "

It was a weird way to hear himself described, but if that was how she felt, he wouldn't argue with her. His lips sought out hers as she wriggled out of her panties; it was a slow and tender kiss that burned with all his feelings for her, those which he could never quite put into words. She sighed into his mouth and gave his shaft another stroke, forcing a hiss of pleasure from him. She parted her thighs and pinned him with her best look of encouragement, laying back against the pillows, her hair splayed like a pink halo around her head.

He paused, struck by how utterly perfect she was. She was everything he ever needed and more.

"Don't be shy." she said, lifting her hips up impatiently. "I'm all yours for the taking. I always have been."

He kissed her again as he slid inside of her, a groan torn from his throat at their slow joining. He started at an easy pace, savouring the feeling of being inside of her—of being joined intimately, as close as two people could possibly be—of being as _one._ Her hips rolled up to take him in further with every thrust and it wasn't long before a thin sheen of sweat broke along his brow, his breathing dissolving into harsh, needy pants. He pressed inside of her harder, a little more urgently, and she moaned in appreciation. The friction was delicious. She gripped him so tightly, keeping him poised on the tip of a razor's edge, the pleasure so sweet it threatened to overwhelm.

"More," she breathed, angling her legs up higher and hooking her ankles over his shoulders to give himdeeper, improved access. He eagerly complied, pistoning into her at a frenzied pace.

"Oh, yes!" she cried, arching and writhing beneath him as her walls clamped around him, squeezing so hard it was almost painful. Her hand rested in his hair and she forced him to look at her, her eyes so full of gentleness and love that she won him utterly. "I love you, oh, _I love you, I_ _ **love**_ _you!_ "

Her words, those which he so desperately needed to hear, took him right up to the edge and shoved him over hard. With a final pump of his hips he came, spilling his seed inside of her with a ragged moan. His climax sent him spiralling up into the clouds as he convulsed with bliss, every muscle in his body tensing and then relaxing all at once. With a deeply satisfied sigh he let his weight sink on top of her.

She continued petting his hair and they remained joined as they both caught their breath. She kissed him on the cheeks, nose, the backs of his eyelids, and his lips.

"I love you too," he said quietly, and meant it with all of his being.

* * *

I'm in a smutty mood apparently. Also I'm nocturnal now.

Find the companion fanart for this (nsfw) at my tumblr account; the name is t-a-c-o-c-a-t-writes


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